Sign in

Fiction Editor for Watermelanin Mag. Contributor for Reclamation Magazine. Twitter: @ChSoriPalma.

I’m Going to be Fine

My name is Christopher Soriano.

It helps to have the right people in your life.

Photo by Dylan Gillis on Unsplash

Writing is a solitary pursuit. Kind of, but not really. At least, it shouldn’t be.

Not everything you write will be worthy, and that’s okay.

Photo by Christian Wiediger on Unsplash

I’ll start by saying I love Roberto Bolaño. There are a lot of authors that I like, obviously. But there is a common — almost inevitable — moment where I love one of their books, decide to read another, and then find myself disappointed by said other work. Obviously, not every book is meant to be a masterpiece. But it’s often a problem in which I tend to like one or two works by an author and then find the rest of them to have issues.

Working In a Pandemic

It’s life or death for both the industry and the employees

Photo: Pauline Loroy/Unsplash

In March 2020, I received a call from my managers at Barnes & Noble, informing me that I was officially put on furlough. What we thought was simply a scare became a reality as the bookstore was forced to close for the good of public safety.

After ten years of writing, I have decided to let go

Photo by Yannick Pulver on Unsplash

In mid-2010, I started my first novel. I was fresh out of high school and had decided to pursue a writing career. I worked on this novel for the past ten years, struggling during my undergrad years, understanding more about the writing craft at my MFA program, and later working on it on my own at my local library and cafés. I have told many friends about this book, used it for my MFA thesis, and devoted myself to this story for an entire decade. I have solved all…

I thought I wanted to die. But now I’m not so sure.

Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash

I have kept a will saved within the files of my laptop for the past two years. I had never told anyone about this, but I have been suicidal for the past 7 years, and I wanted to have something ready if I would ever have to go.

It’s the least I can do for them

Photo by Shelby Deeter on Unsplash

One of the clearest memories in my mind is the day my best friend failed to come back. We were attending a political rally and we met up with a few of their friends from an activist group they had recently joined. I told my friend I was going to the bathroom and they said they’d wait for me. When I came back, I saw them talking with their friends across the street. I didn’t want to come up to them and interrupt. So I waited where I told my friend I would. But then my best friend began walking…

It was more than just a career

Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash

I began writing in 2009 during my senior year of high school. I didn’t think of myself as a serious writer. I was just a teenager with too many romantic thoughts that came out as bad poetry. But before graduating, I began to take the craft more seriously and chose to take writing up as a career.

Photo by Tim Foster on Unsplash

I was officially diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 19. Since then, I have been taking various medications until only recently finding a combination of mood stabilizers that have kept my emotions, for the most part, in check. I have also attended a copious amount of therapy where I revealed my story to professionals in the hopes of “getting better.” It has taken me years of undergoing such treatments to understand that mental illness does not get better. I have not felt happiness in over 10 years. …

Photo by Marvin Meyer on Unsplash

I went to an event a few weeks ago where a large group of alumni from various schools gathered to celebrate one another’s success in the film industry. I had never felt a stronger sense of impostor syndrome in my life.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store